The #2 Crew
T-SHIRTS
💩These heroic little turds are ready to flush out crime and save the sewer. Each Ninja Turd-le brings their own weapon of choice, forming the most legendary bathroom-break battle squad of the 90s. Perfect for anyone who loves nostalgia, ninjas, and humor that is… a little on the crappy side.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
🎈 The perfect tee for those almost social moments. You know—the times when you show up, smile politely, and immediately question your life choices. It’s fun, it’s silly, and it lets everyone know you came to the party… but you might ghost at any second.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩This tee brings the divine level of bathroom humor. Our adorable little angel poop emoji is here to bless your day with pure silliness and good vibes. Whether you’re saintly, sassy, or somewhere in between, this shirt says “Holy Crap” in the most heavenly way possible.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩Life got you juggling flaming bowling balls while riding a unicycle made of crap? Same. This “Welcome to the Shit Show” shirt is your backstage pass to the everyday circus — where the coffee is strong, the patience is weak, and the plot is missing entirely. Wear it proudly and let everyone know the crap car has officially arrived.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩 This hilarious retro-style poop humor design delivers bold laughs with a clever visual punchline that fans of novelty art will instantly love. A must-have design for gag gifts, viral apparel, and fans of unapologetically funny illustrations.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩Sometimes life gets messy — might as well laugh about it. This tee keeps it real with a laid-back “shit happens” attitude. Comfortable, casual, and perfect for anyone who has ever spilled coffee, tripped over nothing, or just survived Monday.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩🚂 All aboard the Hot Mess Express! This hilarious tee rides the line between truth and charm — perfect for anyone who’s just doing their best and laughing along the way. Comfy, quirky, and guaranteed to get a giggle every time you wear it. Grab your ticket and embrace the mess!
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩This tee deals the perfect hand of humor and style. Cheeky, it's punny, it's pure crap—in the best way possible. Great for poker nights, party nights, and anyone who appreciates a good flush.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩Get ready to boogie down in the funkiest way possible! This tee brings major 70s disco vibes with a groovy poop character bustin’ moves like it’s Saturday Night Fever. The caption "Certified Party Pooper" seals the deal—because let’s be real, sometimes you’re the life of the party… and sometimes you’re the reason it ends early.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩Turdzilla - bigger than Monday mornings and twice as dramatic. This T-shirt brings monster-sized attitude with a little toilet humor glory. It’s comfy, funny, and guaranteed to unleash laughs wherever you roam. Wear it proudly… or stomp through the day like the magnificent disaster you are.
This design is intentionally printed with a grunge, worn-in look to give it a cool vintage vibe and perfectly imperfect style.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩 Make room for the real bathroom legend — the Toilet Clogging Champion! This shirt is all about crowning the king (or queen) of the porcelain throne. A hilarious gift for anyone with a sense of humor, it’s sure to get laughs from friends, family, and fellow champions everywhere.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩Blast off into The Pooniverse, where space exploration meets… toilet humor. This cosmic little turd is out here floating through the galaxy in full swagger mode—helmet on, shades on, not a care in the whole dang cosmos. Perfect for anyone who loves puns, poop jokes, or just enjoys keeping life delightfully ridiculous. One small step for man… one giant plop for mankind.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
💩 This funny therapy humor design delivers bold sarcasm with a clean retro cartoon style that instantly grabs attention. Perfect for fans of poop humor, novelty art, and sarcastic quotes, it makes a great gift for therapists, psychology lovers, and anyone who appreciates irreverent comedy.
Product features
- Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for superior comfort.
- Retail fit with a classic crew neckline, easy to accessorize.
- Tear-away label reduces skin irritation for added comfort.
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape ensure durability and shape retention.
- REACH certified, produced in humane, sustainable conditions.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
SWEATSHIRTS
💩Get ready to boogie down in the funkiest way possible! This sweatshirt brings major 70s disco vibes with a groovy poop character bustin’ moves like it’s Saturday Night Fever. The caption "Certified Party Pooper" seals the deal—because let’s be real, sometimes you’re the life of the party… and sometimes you’re the reason it ends early.
The graphic is printed with a grunge look for that outdoor style, work-wear feel.
Product features
- Made from a comfortable 50/50 cotton-polyester blend for durability and style.
- Ribbed knit collar maintains shape for a clean look.
- Ethically produced with US cotton and safety-certified dyes.
- Designed without side seams to enhance comfort and reduce fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
💩 Make room for the real bathroom legend — the Toilet Clogging Champion! This sweatshirt is all about crowning the king (or queen) of the porcelain throne. A hilarious gift for anyone with a sense of humor, it’s sure to get laughs from friends, family, and fellow champions everywhere.
Product features
- Made from a comfortable 50/50 cotton-polyester blend for durability and style.
- Ribbed knit collar maintains shape for a clean look.
- Ethically produced with US cotton and safety-certified dyes.
- Designed without side seams to enhance comfort and reduce fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
HOODIES
💩 Turdzilla - bigger than Monday mornings and twice as dramatic. This hoodie brings monster-sized attitude with a little toilet humor glory. It’s comfy, funny, and guaranteed to unleash laughs wherever you roam. Wear it proudly… or stomp through the day like the magnificent disaster you are.
Product features
- Twill neck tape for added comfort and durability.
- Kangaroo pouch pocket for warmth and convenience.
- Soft hand-feel fabric with luxurious touch.
- Adjustable hood with woven drawstrings.
- Durable fabric with minimal shrinkage.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 26.00 | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 23.50 | 24.00 | 24.50 | 25.00 | 25.50 | 26.00 | 26.50 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
💩These heroic little turds are ready to flush out crime and save the sewer. Each Ninja Turd-le brings their own weapon of choice, forming the most legendary bathroom-break battle squad of the 90s. Perfect for anyone who loves nostalgia, ninjas, and humor that is… a little on the crappy side.
Product features
- Twill neck tape for added comfort and durability.
- Kangaroo pouch pocket for warmth and convenience.
- Soft hand-feel fabric with luxurious touch.
- Adjustable hood with woven drawstrings.
- Durable fabric with minimal shrinkage.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 26.00 | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 23.50 | 24.00 | 24.50 | 25.00 | 25.50 | 26.00 | 26.50 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
BLANKETS
💩Wrap yourself in sheer monstrosity with this Turdzilla Blanket! Featuring the legendary poop kaiju stomping through the city, this blanket brings cozy comfort and unapologetic humor to your couch, bed, or movie marathon lair.
Product in display image may be shown in a larger size for detail.
Product features
- 100% polyester fabric for durability and easy maintenance.
- Vibrant colors enhance playful designs.
- Soft and plush material for maximum comfort.
- Sewn flat edges ensure longevity.
- Available in three convenient sizes.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat
Please note: Due to variations in the production process, blankets may arrive up to 3" shorter than their listed size.